Craziest Fight Ever

So Michael and I got into a crazy fight just a few moments ago. And when I say crazy, I mean CRAZY! We get in little fights every now and again, but I've never experienced anything like this one...

It started after my walk on the dreadmill. I've been trying to work on living a healthier lifestyle in order to lose some weight (finally)! Plus, we're doing a Biggest Loser contest at work, and I plan to win the prize. So that's some good motivation for me. Anyway. So while I'm on the treadmill, I like to watch recorded TV to distract me from the fact that I am, in fact, exercising and (eew) sweating. My two favorite shows to watch? Everyday Food and America's Test Kitchen on PBS.

So tonight I was watching an episode of America's Test Kitchen, and Christopher Kimball and his ladies were making cookies. Triple chocolate and brown sugar cookies. I LOVES cookies. LOVES THEM! (It actually makes me sad that Skye is afraid of the Cookie Monster.) Anyway, so the whole time I was on the treadmill I was thinking about the box of Oreo cakesters in the pantry. It was the closest thing to the soft-bake cookies they were baking on the show that were available to me without leaving the house. So to get me through the walk, I envisioned myself devouring the cakesters. One by one. (Don't worry, they are 100 calorie packs. There are 3 mini cakesters to a pack.)

Now before I had gotten on the treadmill, I had warned Michael that if the dishes were not put away by the time I was off the treadmill, I was going to FREAK OUT! So of course, the dishes were not put away. As Michael reluctantly dragged himself away from Halo 3 videos on You Tube, I sat down at the kitchen table to admire his new haircut while I slowly devoured my cakesters. While I was distracted by some junk mail, Michael joked about taking my last cakester, just as I was about to reach for it. I advised that had he followed through and eaten my cakester, he would no longer have a face.

Seriously, though. You just don't eat the last bite of someones food. You also don't eat the middle bite of their sandwich when they offer you a bite. (That's like a whole other post!) But really, the key factor here is that it was a 100 calorie pack. I intended on eating 3 mini cakesters. That's what I was pumped about. If it had been a regular package, I could have just grabbed another from the bag. But with a 100 calorie pack, I would have had to open another 3-pack. And I can't waste the other two or let Michael eat them! No way! That would have made my 100 calorie snack a 167 calorie snack, and I just couldn't go there. So I told Michael that not only was he not permitted to eat my last cakester, but he was also not permitted to eat my 100 calorie packs. Because inevitably, he would end up eating 2 or 3 at one time. And that totally defeats the purpose. I pay extra for Nabisco to pre-portion my food because clearly I cannot control myself. If Micheal wants to enjoy 500 calories of cakester goodness, I'll get him the regular package! For real!

After I finished my last treat, I began doing the dishes because Michael had finished putting away the clean dishes. Then he started roaming about the kitchen, looking for food. I don't know why he does this because he always ends up eating a pb&j (his ultimate favorite food). It was at this time that I asked if he was going to finish his leftover peach tea from dinner. Michael has a tendency to leave either half or just the slightest amount of a beverage in his glass. It never fails to drive me up the wall. Mostly because it used to be that he would insist on buying cans of pop, but he would never finish an entire can.

So anyway, Michael muttered something about "He was going to have milk, but he forgot that he just poured a glass of tea." I had to stop him.

"No, Michael. That glass of tea has been sitting there since you walked away from it at dinner. I distinctly remember seeing your half-melted ice cubes floating around in the top of the glass when I was cleaning up."

"There was never ice in this gla-"

"Yes, there was! I put it in there! Before dinner I filled the glass with ice and then I poured the tea over the ice. There was ice in the glass, and after dinner, there was ice left in the glass."

"Ok, but I just drank it and poured myself some more!"

"No! You didn't!"

So at this point we were laughing hysterically and with tears in our eyes we continued to argue.

"Look, it's still cold."

"That's because there was ice in it, and it melted!"

So as you can see, we are the strangest couple in the entire world because we get into ridiculous, crazy arguments through which we can't even keep straight faces. I'll bet Michael is in the other room right now still thinking about how he should have eaten my last cakester.